ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
