Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize