My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
