bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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