shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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