Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
sex in a hospital.. check
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
