I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
