walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
