well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
one might say we're banned from that church
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
