I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
