new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My pussy is not your playground.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
