Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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