lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
