I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
