we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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