I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
