normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
