Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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