You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize