Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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