Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
