Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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