guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
