if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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