he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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