well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
