I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
