I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it