Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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(216): View more from Ohio

my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

i'd get off the bar first.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?

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(541): View more from Oregon

Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

You're welcome.

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(805): View more from California

Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.

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(347): View more from New York

Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house

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