I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
