I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
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Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.