They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.