Texts From Last Night

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  (863): View more from Florida

  haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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  (863): haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people http://tfl.nu/1coi
  Replies (52) Good night (1746) Bad night (1453)
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  (310): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.

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  (310): If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels. http://tfl.nu/zmdk
  Replies (10) Good night (1146) Bad night (1571)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  (727): View more from Florida

  ooooooooooooo i'm drink

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  (727): wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (727): ooooooooooooo i'm drink http://tfl.nu/m1fg
  Replies (25) Good night (4534) Bad night (666)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...

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  (402): So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant... http://tfl.nu/xr5a
  Replies (12) Good night (1676) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.

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  (215): epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally. http://tfl.nu/x2ht
  Replies (17) Good night (1275) Bad night (3510)
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  (760): View more from California

  Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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  (760): Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get? http://tfl.nu/1t41
  Replies (12) Good night (3882) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1177) Bad night (4626)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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  (603): No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class. http://tfl.nu/tnda
  Replies (28) Good night (4263) Bad night (841)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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  (609): girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her. http://tfl.nu/7glm
  Replies (15) Good night (4765) Bad night (1583)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3355) Bad night (893)
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  (916): View more from California

  She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.

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  (916): She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared. http://tfl.nu/d52d
  Replies (14) Good night (961) Bad night (2567)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she's perpetually drunk

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's all she knows

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  (610): I think she's perpetually drunk (484): It's all she knows http://tfl.nu/wd5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1390) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

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  (772): Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa http://tfl.nu/i2pg
  Replies (11) Good night (1629) Bad night (626)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.

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  (570): I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies. http://tfl.nu/z52h
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (346)
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  (537): View more from

  Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

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  (537): Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out http://tfl.nu/ifru
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (271)

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