My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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