You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
