Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Randomize
Follow @tfln