Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
