Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
