i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
