It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
