i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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