My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
