the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
