so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
worst night to have a conscience
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
