Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
