how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
