Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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