I need help removing her.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
