we made out on top of his cat.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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