If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
