Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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