i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
