So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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