Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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