He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
