also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize