At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
