just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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