I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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