Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
