I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
two words...techno handjob
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
