tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
