Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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