thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
