I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When are your genitals available?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
