Having a random hookup so left but love u
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
