Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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