Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
