i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
