Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Of course I have a pirate flag
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
