do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
