the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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