Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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