My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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