I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
