I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
